How to Reset When Screen Time Has Gone Too Far

Before I became a parent, I swore I’d never let my future kids watch Youtube. (Ha – isn’t it fun to remember all the things we thought we’d “never” do?) It started out innocently enough. My son is super interested in trash trucks, construction vehicles, and the like, and one day we came across a Youtube compilation of garbage trucks just…doing their thing. My kiddo was thoroughly entertained, and I felt confident there was nothing wrong with what he was viewing.

With time, the algorithm started to shift our suggestions. It was still okay for awhile, until we finally found ourselves in a weird Youtube wasteland of AI-produced nonsense. Naturally, my kiddo was hooked and we found ourselves in need of a reset. 

If you’re reading this, chances are, you’re interested in a reset, too. Perhaps you used to have a screentime routine in place, and things gradually got off course. Or maybe the amount of screentime still feels okay to you, but the content of what your kids and teens are watching doesn’t. Either way, release whatever guilt you’re holding onto and move forward with a new plan.

Step 1: Start small and specific
You don’t have to go cold turkey – in fact, I would actually caution against that, because it can be much harder to stick to! Instead, I recommend picking one clear change at a time, such as these below. Of course, not all of these ideas will feel right for your family or situation, so you can amend them (or ignore them) as needed.

• No screens during meals
• Screens put away one hour before bedtime
• One show (or X amount of time) after homework, and then put away for family dinner or outside play

Note: if the issue is more related to quality than quantity, your changes might look different. For example, you might decide they can choose that video/show/game on the weekends only, but not on weekdays. 

Step 2: Share the plan with your kids
Instead of springing new rules on them suddenly, give them a heads up in advance. Explain why without placing blame. For example, you could say, “We’ve been having a lot of screen time lately, and I think it’s making things harder for us. Mom and I want us to have more time for being together and playing outside. So we’re going to follow a new routine starting Monday.”

This helps them feel part of the process, rather than feeling like a punishment. That said…

Step 3: Expect pushback
It’s hard for ALL of us to change our habits. Your kids are likely to complain, beg, or even fully meltdown. That doesn’t mean what you’re doing is wrong – it just means there’s going to be a difficult adjustment period to ride out. Hold the boundary calmly and with empathy. 

Step 4: Consider replacement activities
When kids have grown accustomed to being glued to their screens all the time, it can be truly challenging for them to divert their attention elsewhere. You’ll need to help fill that gap with something else that feels rewarding. Have a list of activity ideas ready to go: puzzles, board games, crafts, outside play, baking, building, and so on. (This free list and my suggestions below for interactive books may help with this as well.) However, while it helps to offer suggestions, remember it’s not your job to entertain 24/7. 

Step 5: Celebrate the wins
Even if you experience a week of grumpiness and meltdowns about it, try to point to any positive changes and encourage their efforts. You can say something like, “Hey, I know the new time limit has been tough, but I really appreciate you trying. I think our evenings are running much more smoothly, and I really enjoy getting more time to hang out together.” (P.S. – it’s okay if your kiddo disagrees!) 

Book recommendations for screen-free fun (interactive books and activities, or stories on why unplugging can be fun)

For children ages 4-7:
Unplugged – Steve Anthony 
Bored No More! – Julie Reiters 
When Grandma Gives You a Lemon Tree – Jamie L.B. Deenihan 

For middle grade ages 8-12:
Yael and the Party of the Year – Tamsin Lane
Could You Escape Alcatraz? – Eric Braun
Crypt Quest – Gabe Soria

For teens ages 13+
The Reverse Coloring Book – Kendra Norton
The Ultimate Activity Book for Teens – Valerie Deneen
Murdle: Volume 1 – G.T. Karber