Even though we try our hardest to shelter children from scary or upsetting news stories, we also know that the older ones sometimes find out anyway from social media – or simply overhearing others’ conversations. Kids and teens may worry about what they hear, and they need an adult to help them understand what’s happening (and what’s real or not).
1. Find out what they already know
Ask older kids what they’ve heard about current events, whether at school or on social media. Remind them they can always come to you with questions or worries they have about the news. If they don’t want to talk about it (or say they haven’t seen anything), let it go for the moment, but continue to check in about this occasionally.
2. Answer questions honestly but briefly
Tell the truth, but don’t offer more details than what your child is actually seeking. Don’t brush off worried and sad feelings, but it’s also okay to present a calm, confident front. Reassure them they’re safe, in realistic ways.
For example: “I hear you, you’re worried they’ll get rid of vaccines and people will get sick. I worry about that, too. Sometimes we hear in the news that someone is *considering* doing something – but that doesn’t mean they’ll actually get to do it. Let’s try to hold off on worrying too much until we know for sure what’s going to happen.”
Another example: “It’s so scary to hear about another school shooting. Your reaction is normal. I know it can seem like school shootings are super common, but let’s remember there are thousands and THOUSANDS of schools in our country, and most have never had an issue. Your teachers and school staff know how to keep you safe…you’ve learned a lot about staying safe, too. What do you remember?”
Also, if you don’t know the answer to a question, reassure them you’ll find out – and then do!
3. Help them feel in control
Anxiety intensifies when we feel helpless to do anything about our circumstances. Encourage kids to find ways to uphold their values, support vulnerable loved ones, and give back to the community, in ways both big and small. Here are some suggestions:
- Invite your LGBTQ neighbors to dinner to remind them they’re loved.
- Attend protest events as appropriate.
- Help them stand up for themselves when others question or disrespect their beliefs. (It may help to give them specific words for this, such as, “I have the right to believe the way I do” or “You can disagree, but if you mock me again, I’m going to walk away from this conversation.”)
- Donate money to causes you care about. (Even if your kiddo only has $7 to their name, this step may feel really meaningful to them!)
You can also remind older kids and teens to look beyond the news story. Was the article or post they saw TRULY newsworthy and fact-based, or was it someone expressing a controversial opinion in order to get clicks and likes? Explain that these types of posts (and their accompanying comments sections) are designed to aggravate us, so we’ll engage with them more.
4. Direct their attention to positive news
Uplifting stories are still out there! Send links to your teens, or show older kids what you come across. Seeing these stories will help you, too! Here are some recent examples of positive news:
- Gene therapy brings cure for sickle cell anemia patient
- Woman returns family photos to Hurricane Helene victims
- Drive-thru food pantry in California provides food to thousands
5. Watch for distress
If you believe that your child consistently feels anxious or hopeless, seek professional help for them.
6. Model self-care
The better your child sees you cope, the better they’ll cope. Continue to limit access to news, and get regular movement, fresh air, and play.
For example: “Okay, that’s enough doomscrolling for me today! I’m leaving my phone here and going for a walk. Want to come with me? Should we bring Fluffy, too?”
Amanda Robinson, LPC-S, RPT-S 