Holidays with Highly Sensitive Kids

The abundance of sights, sounds, and activities at the holidays are exciting for many, but can quickly become too much for highly sensitive children. Sensitive kids tend to struggle with transitions and crave predictability, and large, loud gatherings don’t exactly set them up for success. As a result, you may witness your young ones refusing to participate in the fun or reacting with meltdowns. (Or…both.)

Fortunately, there are ways you can create a holiday experience that’s both joyful and manageable for your sensitive child! 

Shift your mindset
You’re not alone if you’ve asked yourself, “Why is ____ like this? Why is everything always so difficult with them? Why can’t they just go with the flow?”

Parenting sensitive kids IS harder, full stop. It may sometimes feel like you’re not doing a good enough job as parent, especially when you see your family members’ children responding to the same environmental stressors with relative ease. However, these types of thoughts don’t help you solve problems. Instead, when things get tricky, remind yourself that you have a GOOD kid with big struggles – and that you’re a good parent doing their best to help.

Prepare for transitions and changes in routine
Highly sensitive children often thrive on predictability, so the changes that come with holiday events can feel unsettling. Prepping usually goes a long way with this crowd! Talk with your child about:

• Upcoming events
• Travel plans
• Other expected schedule changes

Describe the setting and any activities involved. This can help reduce the element of surprise and give them time to process what’s coming.

Designate quiet spaces for breaks
Crowded gatherings can quickly drain a sensitive child’s energy. Wherever you go, see if there’s a quiet room or space where your child can retreat if they feel overwhelmed. Even at home, make it okay for your kiddo to seek alone time in their bedroom as needed.

Maintain a consistent bedtime routine
Holiday fun can easily extend into the night, but a consistent bedtime is crucial for a highly sensitive child! When possible, try to stick to their usual sleep schedule and incorporate familiar elements of their bedtime routine, like reading a favorite story. A well-rested child is more resilient to overstimulation.

Watch for signs of overwhelm
Highly sensitive kids may not always tell you that they’re overwhelmed – and they often don’t realize it themselves! However, you might notice signs like irritability, fidgeting, covering their ears, or clinging to you. If you see this, kindly take them to another room and help them figure out what they need. Suggestions include:

• Deep breaths together
• A long, deep-pressure hug
• A brief walk outside
• Alone time
• A snack or drink

Keep communication open
The holidays can stir up a mix of emotions of all of us, particularly sensitive children. Encourage them to share how they feel and listen without judgment. Validate their emotions with, “I know all the noise and excitement feels like a lot. Sometimes it’s a lot for me, too! It’s okay to feel that way.”

Other points to consider:

• Bring noise-cancelling headphones
• Pack beloved stuffies or other comfort items
• Allow kiddo to skip new foods and stick with safe ones
• Don’t force conversation or physical affection with adults

Even if you follow these tips perfectly, there still might be meltdowns. Rest assured, even resilient, neurotypical kids are more likely to melt down over the holidays than at other times! Rather than seeing this as a sign that your day or season was “ruined,” try to concentrate on the cheerful and peaceful moments in between. Give yourself a pat on the back for helping your child feel understood amidst the chaos.