I can’t stress enough how very important parents and caregivers are in the development of children’s mental health. As guardians of young minds, you have the opportunity to sow the seeds of resilience and nurture well-being in your children from an early age. Here are 9 ideas – with actionable steps – you can follow to support your children’s psychological wellness:
1. Foster open communication: Create an environment where your children and teens feel safe expressing their feelings and concerns. Encourage open dialogue and active listening without judgment.
Action: Start holding family meetings! Begin with everyone sharing appreciations, and then allow all participants to share any frustration or problems they may have. Try to avoid becoming defensive! Focus instead on trying to solve the problem together.
2. Provide structure: Having a predictable environment provides kids with a sense of stability and security. (Of course you can be flexible now and then, but consistency goes a long way!)
Action: Keep the family schedule posted somewhere that everyone can clearly see it and know what’s coming up in the week. If you have littles who aren’t reading yet, use pictures.
3. Encourage emotional expression: Show them that a range of emotions – and expressing them verbally or nonverbally – is normal!
Action: When your child or teen is talking about their day, really listen and work on validating their experience, rather than jumping in with advice, asking a ton of questions, or downplaying their feeling.
Instead of…”You got into a fight with your friend? What happened? Why did he say that? What did you say next? Well, I wouldn’t worry about it, I’m sure it’ll blow over.”
Try…”You got into a fight with your friend? I’m sorry to hear that, it must feel terrible.”
4. Model healthy lifestyle: Prioritize adequate sleep, physical movement, and time outdoors. It’s not enough to simply tell kids and teens what’s best. It’s important that they see YOU engage in healthy behaviors as well!
Action: Take your weekend morning coffee outside – and invite the rest of the family to join you.
5. Limit screen time: I know we’re all probably getting sick of this tip, but I’ve seen HUGE behavioral challenges reduced just by changing screen time habits alone.
Action: Model breaks from screens for yourself – and verbalize what you’re doing. Example: “I’m feeling frazzled today, and I don’t think my phone is helping. I’m going to set it aside and get some fresh air. Would you like to join me?”
6. Nurture healthy relationships: We are wired for face-to-face connections with others! Promote positive relationships with family members and peers, and model empathy and respect in all relationships.
Action: If you notice you (or your partner) is having a particularly tough time getting along with one of the kids, don’t assume it’ll naturally get better with time! Try to have regular one-on-one “dates” with your child doing something they find fun, and work on strengthening your bond.
7. Set realistic expectations: Avoid placing undue pressure on children and teens to excel academically or in extracurricular activities. As a therapist, I sometimes have kids in my office who constantly feel as though they’re letting their parents down – and it’s incredibly damaging.
Action: Focus on effort, not outcome. Example: “I saw how hard you worked on your essay, and I’m so proud of you for that.”
8. Allow them to experience distress, failure, and boredom: Whether they’re 3 years old or 17, it’s hard to watch our kids struggle. However, those setbacks are important for their development! Resilience is built by solving problems on their own.
Action: When your kiddo is trying hard at something and not having immediate success (whether it’s building a tower of blocks or figuring out calculus), offer support from the side, but don’t jump in to do it for them. Example: “Ugh, that looks really tough! I’m here to help if needed.”
9. Seek professional help when needed: Be proactive in seeking help if you notice signs of anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns. Early intervention is key.
Action: If you decide to find additional support, let your child know in a non-shaming way. Normalize the need for therapy! You can read more about how to do that here.
Amanda Robinson, LPC-S, RPT-S 