How to Lean on Your Parenting Intuition

As parents, we’re surrounded by advice – from books, social media, family, and that one person in the grocery store aisle who just had to weigh in. (Cue eye roll.)

While some of these voices can be helpful, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by them or second-guess ourselves. In the noise of it all, our own inner voice – the one that knows our child, our values, and our rhythm – can get quieter and harder to hear.

Trusting your parenting intuition doesn’t mean having all the answers or never making mistakes. It means learning to tune in to that deep (often quiet) sense of knowing that guides how you connect and respond. It means prioritizing your gut instinct over others’ opinions. But it can also be really hard to do, especially when self-doubt creeps in – or when your gut feeling doesn’t match popular advice.

Here are some ways to lean on your parenting intuition:

TRUST your unique connection with your child or children.

No one knows them like you do! You’re there for the day-to-day moments – their little habits, their moods, their triggers, and their quirks. That wisdom gives you insight that no parenting book or expert could ever replicate. When something doesn’t feel right, or when you sense they need something – even if you can’t explain it – you’re often right.

PAUSE before you Google or seek advice

It’s so tempting to reach for our phones the moment we’re unsure – whether it’s a new behavior, a weird rash, or a parenting dilemma that’s tugging on our hearts. And while it’s helpful to have information at our fingertips, sometimes it drowns out our own inner knowing. Before you search (or ask someone else), check in with yourself: What do I think is going on? What does my gut say about what my child needs right now?

Even if you still decide to look something up, starting with your own voice first helps you stay connected to it.

NOTICE when something doesn’t sit well with you

There are so many strategies and approaches out there – some backed by research, some trending on social media, and many shared with the best of intentions. But just because a method is popular or works well for another family you know, doesn’t mean it’s the right fit for your family. If you find yourself feeling uneasy or out of sync when trying a certain strategy, pause and reflect. That discomfort is worth listening to.

LOOK beyond short-term struggles to the big picture

It’s easy to get caught in the intensity of daily challenges, like sleepless nights, power struggles, and missed curfews. In those tough moments, it helps to zoom out and reconnect with your long-term parenting values. What kind of relationships do you want to build with your child? What qualities do you hope to nurture in them – and in yourself? When you can anchor your choices to those deeper values, your intuition becomes clearer.

GIVE yourself permission to evolve

You’re allowed to change and shift your approach as your child grows – or even as you grow. What felt right last year might not feel right anymore. Something you once swore you’d never do might become the exact thing that brings peace to your home. That doesn’t mean you were wrong before! It means you’re staying open and flexible. Trusting your intuition includes trusting that it can evolve.

If you liked this post, you may enjoy reading more about parenting intuition and confidence on my upcoming newsletter The Caregiver’s Compass, which launches May 1, 2025! For more information or to subscribe, click here.