The Impact of Parent Mental Health

Would it surprise you if I said that the MOST powerful way you can support your child’s well-being is by prioritizing your own mental health? It’s true. Research consistently shows a strong connection between the mental health of parents and their children (see sources at bottom). The ripple effects can shape children’s development in profound ways.

From a very young age, children pick up on our emotional states and the ways we handle stress. They notice when we can’t find enough energy to leave the house, or when we get distressed by somewhat minor events. Mental health challenges can also affect how emotionally available we are to our children. When we’re struggling, we may inadvertently withdraw from them, or find it difficult to respond to their needs. They may perceive us – without us even realizing it – as constantly distracted or irritable.

All of the scenarios painted above can result in behavioral or emotional challenges in children. When they feel confused and detached and frustrated with us, it comes out in their actions.

The point of this post is NOT to make you feel guilty. It’s terribly hard to parent when you’re depressed or anxious or otherwise not yourself. If that’s your situation, I know you’re doing the absolute best you can to take care of your child – and I want to give you permission to take care of yourself, too. I don’t want you to struggle anymore than I want your child to.

If you’re not happy, if life is feeling harder than it should, it’s your turn to get some support. If you’ve been mulling over the idea of therapy or medication, consider this your sign.

When parents invest in their well-being, they feel better equipped to handle the challenges of parenting. They have renewed energy to meet their kids’ needs, both physically and emotionally. Their relationship to their kids gets closer. As the environment becomes more predictable and stable, kids start to feel and behave better – even without changing anything else.

And perhaps my favorite fact: children who see their parents prioritizing mental health grow up to do the same.

If you’re not sure where to start, here are some practical tips to help you prioritize your own mental health:

1) Acknowledge your feelings and needs to yourself: how are you doing? What do you need in order to feel better?

2) Share the above with a partner, friend, or family member. Some things may feel too private to share, and that’s okay. Talk about what you can. Having a network can reduce feelings of isolation.

3) Find professional support. You can do a Google search, look on Psychology Today, or ask friends or your physician for referrals. If you’re in or near Austin, you can also try the Facebook group, “Find a Therapist in Austin.”

Sources:
Harvard Report (2023): Critical Link Between Parent and Teen Mental Health
American Journal of Psychiatry (2006): Offspring of Depressed Parents
National Library of Medicine (2017): Parent Mental Health and Behaviors of Preschoolers