What is a Highly Sensitive Child?

If you clicked on this blog post, it might be because you have a kiddo at home who struggles with big emotions, and you’re trying to figure out why. If that’s the case, I’m glad you’re here! Understanding what it means to be (and have) a highly sensitive child can help you provide them with the support they need to thrive.

While the exact cause is still debated, highly sensitive children (HSCs) are thought to be born with a central nervous system that is more aware of and reactive to stimuli. This concept, coined in the 90s by psychologist Elaine Aron, suggests that these children process sensory information more deeply than do others, making them more susceptible to overstimulation and distress. Common characteristics of HSCs include:

• More bothered by lights, sounds, textures, and other environmental influences than the average person
• Intensely impacted by others’ emotions
• Anxious around new situations and people
• Emotionally reactive
• Perfectionism; very bothered by making mistakes
• Strong need for quiet time
• Bothered by criticism or negative feedback, even if delivered kindly
• Low pain tolerance

If your child falls under the HSC definition, it may sometimes seem as though they are either happy or having a meltdown, with no in-between. However, this paradigm is not a diagnosis or mental health problem in need of treatment! Therapy and other resources can’t make the sensitivity “go away.” It’s typically a lifelong personality trait; however, with some work (from both parents and kids), children do improve at managing their feelings and using healthy coping skills.

Pediatrician Thomas Boyce described HSCs as “orchid children” and I think his metaphor is helpful here. Orchids need very specific, predictable environments in order to survive – too much light or water can upset their fragile systems.

However, when given the right environment and support, orchids flourish into the colorful beauties they’re meant to be. And so do HSCs! They care deeply about the world and their loved ones, and are often creative and passionate. They can also be incredibly insightful about themselves and have deep conversations. While it’s understandable to feel drained by your HSC’s challenges at times, remember that embracing their sensitivity is an important aspect of helping them flourish. In a future blog post, we’ll discuss practical ways that you can support your HSC at home.

Sources:

Aron, E. (2002). The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them. Link here

Boyce, T. (2020). The Orchid and the Dandelion: Why Sensitive Children Face Challenges and How All Can Thrive. Link here